


Hateful words and last ones

by aurevoir_bitchachos



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Beachball becomes alright, F/F, F/M, Forgiveness, Pls don't hurt me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 05:03:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6690796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurevoir_bitchachos/pseuds/aurevoir_bitchachos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set after Luna says no, except that the container was locked and everyone is pissed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hateful words and last ones

**Author's Note:**

> This has been in my head forever but I never wrote it, sorry if it's a bit shit it's 4am right now in England. Also, sorry that there's a bit of Bellamy bashing but he is an asshole most of the time.

They all looked at Clarke when Luna refused the chip. She felt their eyes boring into her back, their one chance, stopped. Clarke hated the feeling, she should just stop trying, and everything was her fault anyway, right? They locked the container they were stuck in. Jasper laughing, Clarke could hear its emptiness and the way he slid against the wall. Octavia stood still, as Clarke was while Bellamy tried to open the door.

“I think that the mighty Wanheda should open the door. Get us out of the mess she got us into” Jasper’s lifeless voice broke Clarke out of her trance. She put the   
flame back in her pocket. They all looked at Jasper.

“Jasper’s right, this is your fault Clarke” Bellamy said, anger in his voice, different to the uncertain boy that was talking to her the night before. Octavia simply growled at him and sat down by the wall. Out of all the things they expected Clarke to do: take the abuse, cry or shout back. They didn’t expect her to start laughing. A dead laugh, full of the wrong kind of emotion.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Bellamy asked, his voice growling and full of hate. She continued until she doubled over, wheezing. 

“She’s laughing because it’s easier than crying” Came Jasper’s spiteful voice from the back. “Because she knows that all of this is her fault and you called me crazy”

“Sorry” Clarke wiped her eye.

“Shut up, you left all of us, this is our fault. Every time you need something you just take it not even thinking about the consequences. You lost the right to be sorry the moment you left us” Bellamy was full on shouting now, but Clarke wasn’t even flinching at his words anymore. She walked over to the side of the container.

“Shop of” Octavia’s head snapped up at the sound of the language.

“You don’t deserve our forgiveness, Princess” That did it for Clarke she punched the wall over and over and over. She screamed, full of anger and pain, she didn’t stop until her fists were bloody and tears were streaming down her face. 

“It’s all my fault. Everyone” Punch “I Love” Punch “Dies” Punch. She turned around and slid down the wall.

“My father, because I found out. Wells, I could’ve had more time if I had just known the truth. Finn, well you all saw that” She laughed bitterly and saw the angry man in front of her shy away and become the scared little boy again. Octavia looked at her with a strange understanding in her eyes and Jasper just looked at his feet.

“And now, the one person. The single person who didn’t make me wanna float myself, the one person who made me feel happy again. And it’s MY FAULT. Titus was aiming at me, but Lexa ran in and she… she…” Clarke couldn’t say it, she sobbed. “Then Mount Weather, I still can’t sleep. I don’t want your forgiveness, I don’t want understanding, I just want it all to stop”

“We do to Clarke, it was easier to blame someone” Came Bellamy’s scared voice. 

“You know what I love the most” Her voice had changed from the self-pitying crying, it became Wanheda’s full of hate. Bellamy stepped backwards as she advanced.

“When my Father died, I was locked up. When Wells died I had to keep leading your asses, true I was reckless and Murphy almost died. I kept going when I killed Finn, when I felt the life seep out of him. I had to make sure that you didn’t do anything stupid like kill Lexa. And now that she’s dead, I have no one, my mother is a zombie. My once friends hate me, hell my one night stand, Niylah won’t even look at me because of what YOU did.” She poked a finger in Bellamy’s chest. Jasper looked at her in fear.

“My point is Bellamy, I don’t get time to mourn, I don’t get to be reckless. But when your girlfriend gets killed, 300 innocent grounders die, all of my work in Polis means nothing because you joined Pike. This, is on you. And you know what the worst thing is, I forgive you, not for the grounders, not for joining Pike, Lincoln.” Bellamy looked at her with shining in his eyes, tears about to spill. “I forgive you for hating me, I forgive you for letting your emotions get the better of you” The boy fell to his knees in front of her and hugged her, his head by her stomach tears streaming freely, small thank you’s heard through the crying. When he was done, she couldn’t decide between pushing him away in disgust or letting him stay there. She chose neither just shook her head and sat down next to where her blood was on the walls. Silently, Octavia came up next to her and sat down, her brother still kneeling. She pointed at Clarke’s hand.

“May I?” Clarke nodded, grimacing when Octavia held up her worse for wear hand. 

“We can’t have Doctor Clarke’s hand’s fucked up can we?” She tried to joke and Clarke smiled slightly.

“For what I said in Polis, I didn’t know that you and Lexa…” She trailed off slightly afraid of what Clarke might say after the rampage on Bellamy. 

“Octavia, ai forgive yu. I forgive you, you did nothing wrong, but if you need it there it is” Clarke said, softly, knowing that it is exactly what she needed.

“What was your favourite part about Lexa?” She asked picking up her hand and cleaning the blood slightly with a piece of cloth she found. 

“So many to choose. I would say when, she would be all ‘The Commander’ than when she was alone with me being scared, being Lexa. She was so guilty for leaving us. Or her eyes, they were so green and they would always be hesitant as if she could offend me at any moment. Favourite thing about Lincoln?” She returned.

“The way that he loved, he was so sweet and soft, he always wanted peace. The last thing he said to me was that he loved me.” They all thought about their loved ones.  
“None of us is innocent” Jasper said, his voice cracking.

“The last thing Gina did was warn Sinclair and Raven about the self-destruct.” 

“I love you. It is already done. Thanks Princess.” They all looked at her in pity “You were right Clarke, life is about more than just surviving” She cleared her throat.

“In peace may you leave the shore,  
In love may you find the next,  
Safe passage on your travellers,  
Until our final journey on the ground,  
May we meet again.” 

“Who was that for?” Bellamy asked, as if afraid of the answer.

“Anyone and everyone who needs it” Clarke answered in a whisper.


End file.
